i picked it up again...

it was lying there. without an additional thought, hesitance or any sign of resistance, very naturally and in fact effortlessly, i picked it up. i flipped through the pages to find the last sentence i was at since, perhaps, more than two months ago, and started reading as though it was only yesterday i stopped at it. i kissed dating goodbye by joshua harris...

i very much agree the same with Joshua Harris now, as i had before,
before i started dating...

in these two months, i allowed questions to slip pass me. questions like why have i stopped reading it all of a sudden. if you knew how much i was into this title then, you should figure why such questions should be asked. that was avoidance. i allowed the flow to take heed of the situation. hence very naturally too, i spared myself from any questions pertaining the topic. it was avoidance at large.

i stopped reading with joshua harris ever since i have chosen to date, more than two months ago. despite all that he has shared in his book and all that i have strongly agreed, i had finally given in to the desires of my blind feelings, and went against what i believed and still believe. this abrupt motion or change of mind or betrayal of beliefs, whatever and however you call it, had set me out of line with joshua harris. i stopped reading with him because, his book had hence become a big reflective magnifying glass to me - i could imagine it magnifying shame, my shame, into my face. something i could not imagine standing up to. hence i shrunk away. hence i stopped reading with him.

now what's the big deal with this joshua harris and his book? the big deal is, i strongly agree with what he believes in, what he writes about in his book. his writings go in one direction, that is towards the Focal Point, and that is God's Will. let's not go back there anyway. conclusion is, my walk with God has been detoured because of my own choice, this choice to misuse my singleness based on the desires of my blind feelings. that's my shame. and this time, it implicates two of us - me, and my date. henceforth, choices cannot be made just like this anymore, yea?

O Abba i have childishly stumbled across the boundary, out of Your Light and into a different direction, hence how shall return into Your Plan for me to continue the rest of my glorious journey; yet without implicating the other one You love, too?

Glory glory glory and all praises be unto my Abba Father & Lord Jesus Christ!